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Rengar, Spiral, and Talrune get contracted by a wealthy merchant to exorcise his mansion of a demon.
*LATIN TRANSLATION: Foul creature of the deep, return to your home plane, to thwart the mortal realm not for the next one thousand years. I say this in the name of Fate, and now you leave!
[Submitted to
for their 'spooky literature' challenge]
*LATIN TRANSLATION: Foul creature of the deep, return to your home plane, to thwart the mortal realm not for the next one thousand years. I say this in the name of Fate, and now you leave!
[Submitted to
for their 'spooky literature' challenge]Mature
© 2014 - 2024 teambrownie1
Comments4
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This was an interesting piece of fiction with lots of wonderful action and humor. I really enjoyed it. 
I do have a few suggestions- I'd take another read through if I was you for misspelled words and missing ones. It's easy to miss things when you've read over a piece so many times, but there are a few mistakes in there that should be corrected. I would also suggest working on your dialogue a bit more. I understand that you were trying to portray certain accents and voices - but for me, things like that distract from the storytelling and make it more difficult to understand.
These are just suggestions, however. Once again, I enjoyed the piece and thank you so much for sharing it with us.
I do have a few suggestions- I'd take another read through if I was you for misspelled words and missing ones. It's easy to miss things when you've read over a piece so many times, but there are a few mistakes in there that should be corrected. I would also suggest working on your dialogue a bit more. I understand that you were trying to portray certain accents and voices - but for me, things like that distract from the storytelling and make it more difficult to understand.
These are just suggestions, however. Once again, I enjoyed the piece and thank you so much for sharing it with us.